he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
