If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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