Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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