Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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