But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
