Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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