ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
