I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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