I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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