the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
where are my eyebrows?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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