listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize