As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize