Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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