I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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