I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
