I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
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I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
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Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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