I just cut my nipple shaving
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Farmville is her only friend.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
