Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
