Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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