Rock
Scissors
Fuck
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
