Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
