I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
