spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
