I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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