there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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