I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
third nipple confirmed
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
