We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
