Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He shit in the fireplace
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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