Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
