there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
