My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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