Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
