two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
