I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
