just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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