I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
