i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
