she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
