she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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