My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
