At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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