I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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