I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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