i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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