Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You are a genius and a whore.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
