How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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