What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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