idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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