Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
