Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
