haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
