No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
