its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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