why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You smell like a Billy Joel song
worst night to have a conscience
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
