why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
