Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
