pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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