This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
