Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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