he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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