Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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