ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
