thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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