I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
