fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
