I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
