i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
