dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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