Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize